A Whale Sized Hole.

-A Message from the Terrrible Author-

This story is completely true in everyway it could possibly be. Don’t listen to your Physics Professor if he/she tells you otherwise. They’re just trying to cover up the truth.

Jeremy and Rita had been married for several years. And in those year had gained nearly two hundred extra pounds from bad eating habits. Despite the weight gain however the two loved to still have sex. It was their anniversary and the kids were over at the grandparents, so Jeremy and Rita decided to get down to boogey. The candles were lit, the gettin’ it on music mix was in full swing, and two large oiled bodies were about to collide in a jiggly embrace of weird fleshy jello. The bed rocked back forth as the beast that was all back morphed into all manner of back-boob, front-boob, side-boob, chin-boob, and leg-boob on bed. Bats went deaf as their echolocation caught the shape of the two hearty lovers in the throes of passion.

Unbeknownst to Jeremy and Rita the two were causing strange gravitational anomalies in their home as they continued to make love. In minute five of their anniversary session their bodies collapsed into a singularity. The love hole absorbed the house and half the neighborhood before dissipating, leaving nothing more than a large hole in the ground.

Jeremy and Rita’s kids became vegans so as not to end up like their parents. They never had close relationships for fear of becoming a love hole. Scientists to this day have been unable to figure out how two people became a blackhole through the simple act of sex.

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