The After After Credit Scene.

Your laying on the ground watching the clouds list lazily through the sky forming shapes. You see bunnies, trees, trains, turtles, your significant other being run over by a bus because she/he slept with their coworker. Such calm soothing images to behold from nature. The sound of leaves rustling in the wind, birds chirping, a chainsaw cutting your boyfriend/girlfriend in half that cheating fuck. What a beautiful day wouldn’t you think?

You stand up and look upon the field you’ve been laying in watching the grass flutter in the wind. An old man appears in your vision.

“Hello young man/woman. I am Victoria’s Secret.” The old man says, you’re confused by his words but he doesn’t care and simply continues speaking, “You will be my champion. Go forth and seek a lizard suckling from the teat of hooker born on the fourth Monday of Tuesdays past.” The old man hands you a stick then pushes you down a hole.

When you awake you find yourself in your bedroom. “How did I get here,” you wonder. You step outside your room only to find your house/apartment/condo/trailer/box that you reside in. Have you been sleeping this whole time? Was that just a dream? Yes. You have some fucked up dreams. Maybe go see a psychologist for that shit. I mean seriously.

As you walk through your home you see the stick the old man gave you. A panic sets in. I was lying. It was no dream. It was very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very 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very very very very very very very very very very real. Okay it’s super late and I’m tired so a meteor lands on your house killing you and everyone you ever loved. The End. Roll credits. Best sellers list here I come.

 

In memory of Tyler. That scene stealing hack!

 

 

 

 

 

Why are you still here? It’s over. Fine! From the ashes of what was once your abode a hand is seen thrusting out of the rubble. Bam! There’s your after credit scene. Happy now? God damn Marvel. Making it so everyone has to put in some sort teaser after the story ends.

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