I’ve Lost My Marbles

–Read in the voice of Carl Sagan–

Betty was a majestic white-tailed deer. She loved to frolic through the forest without a care in the world. She loved eating legumes, shoots, and never shied away from clovers. Her best friend was a tree stump named Gunther. She wasn’t the brightest as you can see. She often talked to Gunther the tree stomp about her daily problems, which there wasn’t much, come on she is a fucking deer. What problems could a god damn deer have? Oh, no! A hunter. I better run! Bang! Dead. And that is the story of Betty. She fucking died. Are you happy? Did you get what you want? You sick sadistic fuck. Goodness gracious how could you do that?! Why would you do that? I mean come on, she was retarded. I wonder how you can sleep at night you fuck. I’m out you piece of shit. I quit.

In memory of Tyler. He will be missed. That asshole.


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